Sometimes, being so far away from your family really sucks. Yes sure, it’s lovely to be living a dream – life in London, blissfully in love, travelling the world, great job. But sometimes, it really friggen sucks!
My parents celebrated a big milestone over the weekend. 40 years of marriage. And my siblings and partners headed up to my family home for the weekend to share it with them. I got loads of pics and texts coming through of the beautiful weather, the lot of them together, the fire, talk of the fun times they were having, and it really hit me how far away from them I am.
I can’t tell you how many big things / important events I’ve missed over the years – weddings, baby showers, births, anniversaries, important birthdays, engagement parties, housewarming parties – you name it, I’ve missed it. And it really sucks when you get that pang of homesickness when you know a vast majority of the people you love most in the world are all together, having a great time, and you’re not there to enjoy it with them.
But, enough about the fact that it often sucks. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the particular milestone I missed over the weekend. 40 years of marriage. FORTY YEARS. Just take a minute to think about how much time that is. I consider how much happens in a week, or a month or a year for C and I and then I think about that, and wow. 40 years, 4 children, 2 careers, and infinite experiences together. Thick and thin, for 40 years.
My parents are such an inspiration for me. I know it wasn’t always easy for them, but I also know that they worked hard, loved each other and did everything they could to make the decisions that would be best for us. I really admire them and am so grateful that I am one of those lucky people who grew up in a home where the parents still love each other, are still together and still want to be together.
They’ve been through so much together, every single trial and tribulation and have come out the other side of it still best friends, still in love and still happy. I’ve always looked up to them in that way, and I’ve found myself at times modelling my own marriage on theirs… trying to decide what’s normal and how something should be by looking back and measuring it up to theirs. I realise that every relationship is different, but it’s hard not to look back at your role models and try to ensure you have as successful a marriage as theirs.
I will never forget the moment that I realised that a lot of the time they were married, they didn’t even put themselves first. So much of their relationship was focused on us – making our little worlds and lives happy and the best they could be. It was about a year after I left home, I was back for a visit and I realised wow, they really love each other. They were happier, they had clearly spent more time together, they laughed more and were more affectionate towards each other. Not that they hadn’t been before, it’s just that while we were younger and living at home they were always busy, or working, or driving us somewhere and it hit me that they put us first and themselves second. All the time. It must have been a hard slog – almost 30 years of their 40 year marriage focussed mainly on putting us first.
I want to take the time to congratulate them. I am so happy for them that they have had 40 successful years of marriage. That they got through the worst and the best of times, and that they are looking forward to many more happy years together. I am so proud of them and really couldn’t have asked for better parents.
Congrats guys and sorry again that I couldn’t be there to celebrate with you!
Lots of Love